#202 | Stop Waiting for Clarity – Share from the Messy Middle

00:00:00: I'm having so many realizations right now.

00:00:03: So, really had to prioritize which podcast record first because i can't be recording ten today but want talk you about one thing that is so important and know it's gonna feel...so many women feels seen and validated!

00:00:19: And that is....really have the courage to express the chaos.

00:00:24: by doing that..you will Get feedback, have resonance and you will find the next steps going forward.

00:00:34: So what happened?

00:00:36: If You know me...you know this podcast!

00:00:39: You know that I started out as a career coach for career transitions-for big career transitions five years ago.

00:00:47: And then i've changed pretty much everything about my business in first three months of twenty twenty six.

00:00:57: But my idea was to come out in, let's say March or April.

00:01:04: Now it is April with a big bang!

00:01:06: I wanted to launch one of those trailers on my Instagram and say hey i'm back... And I've changed and have this brand new idea.

00:01:16: from now we're gonna be doing

00:01:17: THIS!!!

00:01:18: And I want to invite fancy podcast guests.

00:01:22: you know all that.. I wanna retreat Change and then come out with a big bang, and you know what the insane thing is.

00:01:33: That's exactly.

00:01:34: What I tell all my clients not to do.

00:01:38: i always Tell them well honey?

00:01:40: I know You want that but it's not gonna work.

00:01:43: It's ridiculous.

00:01:44: you're Not Gonna you Know be in your own room or at home, working in a Google Doc behind the scenes drinking a cup of tea talking to no one and then you're gonna have a sudden realization.

00:02:00: You know go out with a big bang everything is going change your revenues gonna ten X. that's just ridiculous!

00:02:08: And now let's talk about why it's ridiculous?

00:02:11: By the way this isn't a beginner problem.

00:02:35: I am not a beginner.

00:02:48: I get trapped in my head and still, i fell for the idea of transitioning changing behind-the-scenes.

00:02:57: And then coming out with a big bang which is ridiculous.

00:03:00: now hear me out why?

00:03:03: Is it ridiculous?

00:03:04: because you and I are human beings.

00:03:08: right we're human beings.

00:03:11: We learn develop explore change pivot transform in the context of other people.

00:03:22: We need other people to see who we are, To mirror back to you who?

00:03:51: You've become.

00:03:53: there's nothing Feedbacking, you in the process that's gonna make.

00:03:59: You learn about where you stand and When There is Nothing to feedback you when there'S no resonance You're Gonna be Trapped In a vicious circle forever.

00:04:13: Now what Is The Solution?

00:04:16: And that is something I've been working on for years with clients.

00:04:20: I had so many clients coming to me saying, you know what?

00:04:23: I want to change my career!

00:04:26: I don't wanna be a doctor anymore... ...I don't want to be teacher any more.. ..I don'want to be specialized person for XYZ anymore.... ...I'm done with

00:04:37: this!!

00:04:38: I have evolved and in different stage of life..... And now here's the thing, Nicole.

00:04:44: I don't want to...I don't know what i wanna be doing.

00:04:46: instead and because I dont'knowwhatiwannabedoinginstead im just gonna sit herandwaitforclaritytostrike.

00:04:54: Im going to sit in my couch ,im gunna journal .Im gunna listen to podcasts and im gunna wait for this magical moment where everything suddenly becomes so clear!

00:05:02: and I KNOW WHO I

00:05:03: AM!!

00:05:04: and im just gunna know.

00:05:05: and that was..well honey you can do tha but if u wanna go about it like that- I cannot help you.

00:05:13: I'm not the coach for you.

00:05:14: I'm NOT THE MENTOR FOR YOU!

00:05:16: This is not... Like, MY WORLD IS NOT YOUR WORLD.

00:05:20: If you want that?

00:05:21: Well please- I'M NOT GONNA STOP YOU But i think it's dangerous.

00:05:27: Yes..I said what I SAID.

00:05:29: IT'S DANGEROUS.

00:05:30: WHY?

00:05:31: Because its gonna keep you trapped forever in a circle of waiting waiting to feel ready, waiting to have more clarity.

00:05:41: Waiting to have an insight, waiting the perfect plan.

00:05:45: I've had clients coming after ten years and more of waiting.

00:05:54: This makes me...I can't even express what it feels like.

00:05:59: It's lost potential!

00:06:02: It is your life.

00:06:06: So waiting for clarity to strike while going through a transition is the worst thing you can do and it will not happen.

00:06:14: So now what's gonna make YOU gain clarity?

00:06:19: Let's go back to me, let's come back myself because I'm the perfect example!

00:06:24: And i am outing my self as someone who hasn't been drinking her own medicine lately... ...and as I said its NOT a beginner problem.

00:06:32: this something that happens too a lot of women that have built extraordinary businesses, that build careers so sophisticated and well-educated.

00:06:50: Why?

00:06:50: Because the more you know... The more you get into your head!

00:06:58: When YOU are a beginner when you do something for first time Let's take when you found a business.

00:07:06: When I founded this business in twenty-twenty, I had nothing to lose!

00:07:11: I just lost my previous business due the corona crisis and that is how i went about it.

00:07:22: I took mentoring course showing me how get to ten K. I did the TenK?

00:07:27: Okay cool...I experimented.

00:07:30: I did live webinars, i would sell one hour of my time.

00:07:34: I would sell three hours off my time!

00:07:36: I did a lot of formats...I did Instagram lives every Friday.... I did lunch and learn which was free format in Zoom.. I did workshops , I did life events ... I just experimented And I looked what stick because i had nothing to lose.

00:08:23: There was only one way and that was up.

00:08:26: Now when you've built something When you are experienced, when you build a career.

00:08:34: You start getting so into your head because if I'm not gonna hit it right i am going to lose these people.

00:08:48: And now all this overthinking starts.

00:08:52: It's the same for me.

00:08:55: I knew, okay.

00:08:56: I'm retiring my core offers and retiring my funnels And retiring my free products...I pretty much retired everything in January twenty-twenty six.

00:09:11: It felt great!

00:09:13: I knew it was necessary.

00:09:14: I am a very radical person.

00:09:16: i'm not a person for smooth transitions.

00:09:21: Never have been never will be.

00:09:23: I am not activated by smooth transitions.

00:09:27: I'm activated by radical cuts because that's what i personally need to move.

00:09:34: but here, was getting into my head and have a lot of ideas.

00:09:39: you have to know this.

00:09:42: like My difficulty is really NOT coming up with ideas!

00:09:45: I HAVE A LOT OF THEM!

00:09:47: I have an idea for high-level mastermind A thirty-day challenge which I would love to run.

00:09:56: I have an idea for a live event, I Have an idea of VIP packages Everything Sitting in my Google Doc Waiting To Be Launched And i couldn't make myself launch any Of that...I Couldn't Make Myself Do It.

00:10:14: Why?

00:10:16: Because..i thought well it's not perfect just yet Nooo!

00:10:22: I need some couple weeks better.

00:10:26: Nah, I need that trailer like that comeback trailer.

00:10:30: then i'm going to put on my instagram Like im back and now this is the direction.

00:10:35: everything's so clear!

00:10:37: I've been in a dip but Now Im out of it.

00:10:39: And now I am teaching you...and That Is also something I want To share with You..I think This whole narrative about Well, you can only teach from your scars not from the wound and You cannot teach from the messy middle.

00:10:54: I think that's bullshit.

00:10:56: i am now I'm speaking to you From my own messy middle And I think it's so much more valuable for you but also For me.

00:11:11: Why?

00:11:12: I hope you don't hear my stomach egg.

00:11:13: It didn't have breakfast yet So its about Its rumbling.

00:11:17: But if you allow yourself to share, express your self from the messy middle between an old YOU and a new identity.

00:11:29: Between an old business And A NEW BUSINESS.

00:11:32: Between whatever you're going through then You will all of sudden gain so much more clarity.

00:11:42: why?

00:11:43: Because in expressing Yourself people Will comment Will feedback?

00:11:53: They will ask questions.

00:11:56: I had a talk with one of my clients the other day and just asked her questions, And i was like wow well...I get so much out Of these couple minutes that we talked because she gave me input That didn't have before sitting at My laptop or in front on my laptop looking At my google doc.

00:12:16: So as soon As you start expressing your messy middle You are going to get the missing puzzle pieces you're looking for.

00:12:25: And then, you can implement those in your journey.

00:12:35: and that's ultimately why I have a podcast!

00:12:42: I wanted a platform to articulate myself.

00:12:53: because in doing so.

00:12:57: In recording this podcast, in real time without no like...I never use scripts Like literally.

00:13:03: i'm sitting on my couch My hair is still wet from the shower I am wearing a leg-end I am holding my smartphone and my hand And I am recording these podcasts for you.

00:13:13: It's not going be edited it just gonna hit the press record button wherever you're gonna listen to it.

00:13:24: And I'm doing this as an exercise to express myself, why?

00:13:29: Because in doing so... In talking to YOU!

00:13:33: In forcing myself to express what is real and true to me at the moment.

00:13:40: Clarity arrives....I am probably going be talking for a couple of minutes more.

00:13:46: then i will put away my phone Probably drying my hair.

00:13:53: That's the first thing I'm gonna do and then I'm going to go for a walk And I'm Gonna think about what?

00:13:57: Just spoke About, and Then i'm Going To say oh well okay I missed that Point but that was right.

00:14:05: and ooh!

00:14:06: I have clarity now.

00:14:07: that is something I am going to Do today or in My next offer Or whatever and that Clarity just came by Expressing What Is true what is real In The moment Right Now And what I would ask you to do is, and that's something.

00:14:26: I always forget to ask when you listen to this podcast episode and you're done with it please if You listened to it in Spotify?

00:14:37: And I know a lot of people don't.

00:14:39: but If you are a spotify listener Please comment below the podcast.

00:14:45: Please leave me a comment.

00:14:48: Leave me a common saying That resonated or that didn't resonate.

00:14:53: Or whatever, please don't leave me a hate comment like I. get nothing out of that.

00:14:59: if you don't like my podcast just don't listen to it.

00:15:02: If You Like It Though!or If You Get Value Out Of It Please It Would Mean The World If You Feedbacked.

00:15:09: Are You Going Through A Sticky Season Yourself?

00:15:12: Have You Gone Through A Season Like That.

00:15:14: What Helped You?

00:15:16: What do you get out of this episode?

00:15:18: what landed, what...what Do you have questions about?

00:15:21: because that way You and I get a win-win situation Out Of This podcast.

00:15:29: YOU Get to be in dialogue with me or get into a dialog With ME and i get To Be Feedbacked.

00:15:38: And THIS WAY is the fastest Way for clarity For your next steps.

00:15:46: So What's the point I wanna make here?

00:15:50: Don't wait.

00:15:54: Do not wait for clarity to strike, allow yourself create first and that is... The name of something i'm bringing forward!

00:16:21: And then exclamation mark, no.

00:16:23: But first dot-dot-dot create and then an exclamation Mark.

00:16:27: that is the name of this space.

00:16:32: Yesterday I launched a podcast Please listen to that one with one of my mentors Bridget James Ling its podcast episode two hundred in one and I listened to it.

00:16:44: usually i don't do That but I listened To The Podcast In A Car Because we recorded it a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't really remember exactly what we talked about.

00:16:53: Like... It's a couple o' weeks ago.

00:16:56: So i listened to it And was like well.. Well....It couldn't be more perfect than now!

00:17:04: There is no better timing then to publish it NOW because Bridget said something so cool inside of that She said whenever you're going through sticky season In your life, in your business.

00:17:18: I want you to pick up the pen and create...I Want You To Create More Than You Consume!

00:17:24: I Want You Allow Yourself To Share From The Messy Middle To Just Put Things Out There Because As Soon as You Start Making Expressing Producing Creating You Are Going To Gain The Clarity from That That You're Looking For.

00:17:42: People are Gonna Be Interested In You.

00:17:45: They're gonna talk to you, they are going get into a dialogue with you.

00:17:51: You will be getting resonance and real-time feedback.

00:17:55: You'll learn more about how you feel while expressing yourself.

00:18:00: Learn what your way is!

00:18:03: Do want to make videos talking head reels?

00:18:10: Make beautiful carousel posts on Instagram?

00:18:13: It doesn't matter But you're gonna learn so much about yourself, and you are going to learn where your standing.

00:18:24: You know what?

00:18:27: Not yesterday... I said nine German word in the middle of it all!

00:18:36: Last week i was having a walk across a cemetery like very random moment.

00:18:45: In that very random moments..I had realization.

00:18:52: So I sent a message to one of my mentors and said, you know what?

00:18:56: This is the missing puzzle piece.

00:18:58: I've been waiting for.

00:18:59: it came to me in The most random-of all moments And it's the golden thread weaving everything i've done In my life so far together.

00:19:08: Everything i have experienced Experienced experimented with professionally before i became A coach, a mentor and an online entrepreneur.

00:19:22: And the leader of the female purpose movement.

00:19:26: I was a creative.

00:19:29: i Was the founder of a publishing company Publishing books Travel guides for design lovers Not your average travel guides very special ones.

00:19:44: I was An influencer even a micro influencer For lifestyle brands.

00:19:51: I was a stylist, which is the profession that financed my publishing company.

00:20:28: again and again was the role of a curator.

00:20:34: Because that's what I do best, it comes naturally to me.

00:20:38: It is who i am at the core.

00:20:46: And so...i decided..that im gonna bring back The Curator To The Female Purpose Brand.

00:20:52: Im gonna Bring Back All That I Shared Before The Industry.

00:20:57: The Online Space Told Me What Not To Share And Im Gonna Start Curating my way into a new era in business.

00:21:11: I'm going to start creating more than i consume and sharing from the messy middle again because ever since the beginning of the female purpose brand, it's not even an acclaim but statement.

00:21:31: It has always been that you are so much more likely to act your way into a new way of being, than to desperately try and think in the new ways you're acting.

00:21:47: And I realized that last week's I haven't been doing it!

00:21:51: I was trying to think myself into my new direction.

00:21:57: Sitting at my laptop, trying to get it right... ...and i'm not doing this anymore.

00:22:16: Now, it doesn't have to be perfect.

00:22:20: People are not drawn into perfection.

00:22:24: people are drawn to realness...to truth To expression Clarity But not clarity in the way you think Not having at all figured out and sharing a perfect post Conviction And I want encourage you to share.

00:22:47: from that messy middle i wanna encourage You to dare to express The chaos and share it with other people.

00:22:55: Not from a place of, oh well I'm all chaotic now!

00:22:58: All over the place but form a place.

00:23:01: that's like hey i am experimenting my life!

00:23:03: I'm experimenting... I'm curating my way into new ways being.. I'm creating my own way to create a new era in business & life And this is so attractive That is so magnetic.

00:23:20: Yesterday, I was sitting in the couch and talking to my partner because normally i would have gone to Milan this week.

00:23:29: For my highlight of the year at the Salone Milan Design Week And couldn't go Because something came up on a family made it impossible.

00:23:40: so that's why I stayed here.

00:23:42: So sad about that!

00:23:44: I ended up looking or watching reels from some of my favorite interior influencers or interior creators.

00:23:55: And one of them I've been following for, I would say probably six or seven years.

00:24:02: So Oliver my partner.

00:24:04: he asked me like what is it you love about this person?

00:24:07: Why do you keep following this person?

00:24:11: and i said well...I read her posts And it's by the way, It is I swoon Athena Calderona or Calderon.

00:24:24: Maybe you know her?

00:24:25: I swun its a very big and popular account.

00:24:29: i love The content she makes.

00:24:31: maybe im gonna invite Her on the podcast.

00:24:34: I Love the content because this just so Its not perfect!

00:24:39: Is real its raw sometimes Very emotional and She Just takes You along for This ride and she shares from the messy middle.

00:24:51: And, she shared a posting about herself having gone or having experimented her way into the interior design world ten years ago like accidentally by just trying experimenting renovating her house and putting it on Instagram, then all of a sudden people get interested.

00:25:14: And she wrote a cookbook!

00:25:15: Then she did this...and that was more an experimental process.

00:25:23: It wasn't like I was sitting in front of Google that dark and planning all those things.

00:25:30: Taking people along for the ride is so rewarding to you as well as everyone else.

00:25:40: then, you know going through a sticky season.

00:25:43: Going through it dip not sharing any anything about that and Then coming out on the other side and saying well That was bad season But hey I'm good now.

00:25:53: So this is the new direction And uh Now i'm gonna be teaching You how to do It as Well no?

00:25:58: Well you can Do that obviously but its so much more interesting if you allow yourself To teach from The messy middle If you allow yourself to teach from what people call the wound, and that doesn't mean trauma dumping.

00:26:13: And that doesn' t mean airing out your dirty laundry on Instagram.

00:26:17: That does not mean crying on Instagram unless it activates you.

00:26:21: well then go ahead do it!

00:26:23: But this really means allowing yourself NOT TO BE PERFECT AND THAT WAY YOU'RE GONNA CREATE WITH YOUR PEOPLE Enter into a so much more collaborative coaching and mentoring style, which is what I'm doing now.

00:27:09: I'm sitting here like often enough, i don't even know who's listening.

00:27:15: Do you know these seasons?

00:27:18: Have you gone through a season like that?

00:27:20: what do you want to know more about?

00:27:22: please let me know!

00:27:23: Please use this episode as two-way communication not just talking with my phone on a random Wednesday in my couch I want to say, thank you so very much for being here.

00:27:41: Even if you've just spotted this podcast five minutes ago or have been in my world a long time it doesn't matter... So hear your next one and have a nice day!