#210 | The Missing Piece of Every Identity Shift

00:00:00: You are constantly told that transformation happens from the inside out.

00:00:05: Heal first, talk to your inner child journal change or beliefs become someone new.

00:00:11: but what if one of the fastest way to change our identity isn't another mindset exercise?

00:00:18: But actually changing your environment?

00:00:22: and this is an episode about a very personal story that I want to link two shifting identities, because i think this part of any identity shift or have any transformation.

00:00:38: Of any going through an evolution in your business or life is so often overlooked and That Is Actually Changing Your Physical Location.

00:00:50: And if you've been along for the ride If You Know Me In My Work living by the sea that I've been working on a project for the last two and half years.

00:01:03: So since the beginning of twenty-twenty four, And that has been moving apart my life to houseboat boat underwater in Amsterdam which is my favorite city on this planet.

00:01:15: so under thirty July Last week it actually became true.

00:01:21: It was manifested into reality and this has been a project that has driven me nuts.

00:01:29: Like it wasn't easy, not your standard housing projects as you can imagine so its hard.

00:01:37: there were many challenges from finding the right project manager or architect to Actually finding a slot to place it in, because as you can imagine.

00:01:47: You can just not place on the canal belts and Amsterdam because that's just not allowed.

00:01:54: so It has been very challenging And although its tiny house, basically a tiny house boat On two planes Its' been huge project.

00:02:04: now That actually came true.

00:02:07: I really needed some days To realize This has been, this is come true.

00:02:12: That I manifested this huge dream that found its way from my journal in twenty-twenty three to My key ring because i had a keyring made saying property of dot dot dot n two A drawing on a piece of paper that my partner spilled his espresso over in the restaurant.

00:02:38: That was the first drawing I made in twenty-twenty four because i wanted to introduce my idea to him, and many other steps now being there like physical manifestation or real house.

00:02:55: we just moved into... And be honest with you Last week when we get the keys and There was a bottle of champagne being handed to us And we got a little you know short briefing Of what?

00:03:09: To look out for an yeah, of all the special effects this house has.

00:03:17: We were alone in The House like my partner and I. we had like a small Burnout of some kind and we were so exhausted.

00:03:25: We were exhausted like I've been exhausted.

00:03:27: I came home from Amsterdam yesterday, and I was sick Like I wasn't bad for an entire day because I was just so overwhelmed by this new situation.

00:03:38: And it's not...I could not..like- I would be lying if i told you yeah So This was the project!

00:03:44: Now we manifested.

00:03:46: now It is perfect and everythings fine.

00:03:49: No its not.

00:03:51: It's not perfect.

00:03:51: and everything is fine because there has been a lot of problems with this project, as I said.

00:03:57: The biggest one was on its initial cruise from the shipyard to the harbour where we chose to place it.

00:04:07: actually the motor broke down so the ship had to be towed away by bigger boats don't ask me what that cost had to be repaired and then towed back into the harbor where it's now having a bigger repair.

00:04:26: It was damaged by this maneuver, so that is very problematic that it's gonna be great and everything is going to just as we planned.

00:04:53: It has been a lot, but when I woke up this morning... So after these days of what I would sincerely call a mini burnout, because there were so many things to be organized and so many new impressions.

00:05:16: And also huge feeling of overwhelm Because this is now our third home!

00:05:21: It's also allowed to manage.

00:05:23: while i find it like great privilege To live in three different places Its also alot logistics.

00:05:32: But today ,i woke up feeling like a new person And I want to talk to you about changing your identity from the outside in, because this is so important and it's such an overlooked part of any evolution that we're going through as a woman leader or entrepreneur.

00:05:52: So... Identity!

00:05:56: It not only shaped form the inside out but also shape from the outside-in.

00:06:03: Now i wanna take moment to talk to you about why.

00:06:07: Because I really love to dive into the scientifics behind this, right?

00:06:12: So if your anything like me You are maybe somebody who loves The science of the brain Like i love it!

00:06:20: I've been studying the brain for over a decade now and...I Love neuroscience And how our brain works.

00:06:28: so Your brain is constantly adapting environment to its surroundings.

00:06:34: And that's called neuroplasticity, so basically new places, your routines, new sensory input and also new experiences create new neural pathways in your brain.

00:06:48: So what I love to use is this metaphor of a Christmas tree.

00:06:54: If you were to put up a Christmas Tree at home and you would only put on three lamps in your Christmas tree.

00:07:04: That would be like, or let's put it like that.

00:07:08: if you were to experience the same things every day at the same time and the same environment with the same people...that would actually be a christmas tree that only has three lamps shining on it!

00:07:24: That will be putting all of those three very same lamps on your christmas trees everyday.

00:07:30: as soon As you start experiencing new things in new environments with new people, it is as if you would put on all the lamps of your Christmas tree because that's when neuro pathways are formed.

00:07:54: heavenly to your brain because you're brain is designed.

00:07:59: To learn, Your brain has designed to solve problems.

00:08:03: You're brain as designed to experience new things.

00:08:06: that's what grows your brain and not only your brain it grows your personality as well.

00:08:12: so That is one point.

00:08:14: like your environment rewires your brain.

00:08:19: So moving relocating Only if it's just a part of your life.

00:08:26: It doesn't have to be moving to Germany from Mexico, that is big move!

00:08:34: It can be things like changing the desk in office or even driving another way home for work Or not driving with car but hopping on bike actually creates new neuro pathways in your brain.

00:08:58: And another thing that I think is so often overlooked, it's context shapes behavior So behavioral science.

00:09:11: There are actually studies showing that your environment influences your actions far more than you even realize.

00:09:19: Your office, your home the people around you The street that you walk to...the cafe You get your matcha latte in the morning.

00:09:27: It actually influences your entire behavior and it actually influences all the micro decisions That you make on a daily basis.

00:09:40: And what I also find fascinating is that new environments, and I realized this last week really interrupt old patterns because as soon as you change something in your environment.

00:09:54: You cannot just default into autopilot mode and you know that like everybody knows it Like getting up at the same time going to your kitchen putting on a coffee machine picking The Same Way To Work Like being on autopilot, that is a sure fine way to not grow at all.

00:10:18: And I would say eighty percent or even ninety percent of our society lives like that.

00:10:23: they keep repeating the same day and calling that alive which Is Not Alive.

00:10:28: That Is Really Being On Autopilot.

00:10:31: If You Want To Step Out Of That if you really want true deep change in your life The first lever I would pull is to really change something in your physical environment.

00:10:46: And this has worked for me again and again, you have to know...I've moved twenty two times by now!

00:10:53: This was the twenty third time so our move-to-the houseboat was the Twenty Third Time of relocating And I might have missed a couple of times.

00:11:04: That's just the, the times that can count and memorize.

00:11:08: so i've relocated A LOT!

00:11:11: I've relocate it a lot...and its exhausting?

00:11:14: Yes in the beginning It is exhausting.

00:11:17: you get tired You have like an overwhelming feeling The same thing I had last week.

00:11:23: But then things start shifting for you Because your forced to be someone else.

00:11:33: Think about it.

00:11:34: You cannot just, you know Do the same habits on a same daily basis and walk the same route?

00:11:42: You're forced to actually interrupt your patterns!

00:11:54: people in the harbor we live and they introduced themselves to us.

00:12:08: There was a dog, my living room.

00:12:12: Steffi is an Australian shepherd And she was in my livingroom.

00:12:17: I figured out oh it's the neighbor's dog.

00:12:19: Now that comes by every day there were so many new things happening That really forced me To leave My daily habits.

00:12:33: Moving places, changing cities, redesigning your office or just working from a different place interrupts your autopilot faster than you can think.

00:12:46: And those transitions and I would call them microtransitions make it easier to build new habits because you're no longer surrounded by constant reminders of who you are And sometimes your biggest breakthroughs, they come from breaking your patterns.

00:13:04: Not forcing more discipline but simply changing something in your life.

00:13:11: that then again naturally forces you to become someone else and it's easy actually because you're interrupted in your daily habit.

00:13:24: so That's something I really realized last week and i'm just gonna give you one example.

00:13:30: So My partner and I were waiting for our tender boat.

00:13:35: So the smaller boat that goes with a bigger boat.

00:13:38: because, i don't know if you can imagine this but If You Live On A Houseboat That's Like A Permanent Home.

00:13:44: Yes!

00:13:45: It Has A Motor And You Can Drive it But Your Not Moving It Every Day Because Its Has A Fixed Spot In The Harbor.

00:13:51: so If You Want To Go On Let'S Say Weekend Trip.

00:13:55: Yes We Could Move It But it's not something you do on a daily basis because It's too big like, You don't move your house Your house boat.

00:14:03: You're floating house every day.

00:14:05: So what everybody has is a tender boats?

00:14:08: so its smaller boat that you know maybe from people having yachts bigger boats That you use to Do daily errands To go shopping Go into the harbor Maybe go for dinner.

00:14:22: even We were waiting for our tender boat to be delivered, but it didn't happen because also there was a problem with it.

00:14:32: So I said to Oliver well... It was so hot we don't have any air-co on our boat yet!

00:14:38: So i said let's just check for a cafe nearby and let's go there and work Because both of us had a lot on the plate And..i said that we do not know when this boat is going to be deliverd yet and work summer.

00:14:56: And that was just such an interesting experience because we went to a neighboring city, it's outside of Amsterdam ,and its beautiful!

00:15:06: It is rather touristy now in Summer but it's heavenly...it looks like a postcard from the Netherlands..its beautiful.

00:15:15: So We drove there on the way.

00:15:18: I was looking for cafes Like.

00:15:21: i just scouted a bit on Google And I found a blog with like five different cafes in that city.

00:15:30: So, as said to Oliver okay let's park here and lets just go there and check it out!

00:15:36: We entered the cafe which was beautiful.

00:15:39: It was rather touristy.

00:15:40: There were people eating apple cake families or even elderly ladies on their bikes coming into groups to have a slice of apple pie.

00:15:53: so it wasn't really hip But it was a beautiful place.

00:15:56: So we sat there and We open up our laptops, and we worked pretty much all day.

00:16:03: And when we left It was so funny because The old lady running the cafe said to us oh my god like you really brought A piece of Silicon Valley To My Cafe Because I've never had people working here with their laptops.

00:16:19: and Oliver and I we laughed so hard on way home because to us that's just normal, like we work everywhere.

00:16:27: Like we worked with our laptop on the plane.

00:16:35: So that was so cute.

00:16:37: and working there for just one day... One afternoon really made Oliver think about many new things he could be doing in this business And he was pitching them all to me in the car back home from the cafe.

00:16:55: He was like, you know what?

00:16:57: I realized I could be doing this and this made me think that this... ...and i want to change THIS!

00:17:04: So I said well how come your having so many ideas

00:17:07: today?!

00:17:07: And he said Well..I think it's just a change an environment.

00:17:12: I think That Was Just A Change In Environment because as soon As I enter my office ..And I drive The Same Way To Work and I sit at the same desk, And i have this same employees coming in asking me.

00:17:28: He has a big company he's the CEO of a big companies so he had alot people come to him asking questions.

00:17:37: as soon that happens im back into my old identity.

00:17:42: Im Back In My Old Train Of Thoughts.

00:17:46: So sitting here for just one afternoon with you That is so different from the environment I know.

00:17:57: From my everyday life, it made me think So many different thoughts.

00:18:03: It really made me step out of My normal regular three D character and it made Me write down so Many new ideas.

00:18:13: that's insane.

00:18:15: And this Is just Like a really simple example of what changing your location can do for you.

00:18:23: And I really think, A lot of times we get so caught up in oh i need to be making these massive changes on my life!

00:18:32: I need to pivoting into business and change everything.

00:18:37: but sometimes...a small change like that Working from another cafe Not sitting in the kitchen table on the kitchen, table by the kitchen.

00:18:49: Table but sitting somewhere else and your apartment even can help you really step into a new identity think new thoughts And these new thoughts are going to drive new actions.

00:19:05: It really is that simple sometimes?

00:19:09: Also Your environment.

00:19:12: it either reinforces or challenges your identity Because every space that you live in or that you spend time on does something.

00:19:23: So ask yourself, Does this environment remind me of my past?

00:19:30: Or does it invite me into my future?

00:19:34: when I step into my living room When i step into My office what do I feel like?

00:19:43: What does It Do ?

00:19:46: Does It Actually Enhance My identity or does it drag me into the past?

00:19:56: Because your surroundings are either confirming Your old identity, or calling you in to a new one.

00:20:04: And I had a moment couple of weeks ago Or i stepped Into One Of our other homes and I felt like ooh This is old this Is old and It has nothing To do with the color of your walls or the furniture, it is just a feeling attached to that space.

00:20:32: So I actually wrote down in my journal and thought well this maybe going be next space we're gonna leave?

00:20:40: Exchange for new one!

00:20:43: Because It feels old And its beautiful but drags me into an old identity because i've attached That Space To A Period In My Life that I'm not in anymore.

00:20:58: So if you're going through an identity shift and your business or life, don't only ask who do i want to become but also Ask yourself the woman?

00:21:13: I wanna evolve into.

00:21:16: Where does she work?

00:21:19: What does she see every day?

00:21:22: what conversations surround her?

00:21:26: ?What spaces inspire her?

00:21:31: and don't just design your business, but curate your environment so that it quietly designs you back because thats what's gonna happen.

00:21:48: And sometimes becoming someone new doesn't really start by changing her thoughts.

00:21:53: Sometimes its starts from changing the room those thought are actually born in.

00:22:03: I especially like that final idea because it really boosts your evolution.

00:22:15: It can be a starting point for you next era.

00:22:21: and relocating twenty three times by now in my life has taught me yes, its overwhelming Yes Its uncomfortable It doesn't feel good, like how many times have I cried after a biggery location?

00:22:42: How many times has it been that God... I don't even know if i'm going to be comfortable in this space.

00:22:50: Or make new friends with the city or learn from Sweden and Germany at age fourteen which was one of the hardest things I had to go through in my entire life and back then that was devastating, but it shaped who i am today.

00:23:17: And every time I really stepped out of an old environment... It's jolted my system in a good way!

00:23:30: a new identity.

00:23:38: And it's forced me, is literally forced as the right word to become someone else because you cannot stay the same in any environment.

00:23:47: and yes of course there's this saying that wherever you go always bring your old trauma and patterns with you That's true.

00:23:57: but also A New Environment will inevitably force You To change some things about yourself And it's going to be a nice pattern interrupt.

00:24:13: It's gonna, you know, interrupt your autopilot mechanisms and force you really think about where do wanna go next?

00:24:26: Who ya wanta become?

00:24:29: I want you deliberately choose places that fuel ur soul That nourish u and i see so many women.

00:24:42: There are so many women in my spaces that come because they're going through an identity shift under business or life.

00:24:51: And there's so many woman and my spaces, have then said to me In a one-to-one call Or in person you know what Nicole?

00:25:03: I don't think i need To be changing My Business right now...I Think I Need to Be Changing My Environment!

00:25:10: And That might include Leaving the Person You're Living With.

00:25:16: That might include selling your apartment, that might include living in two places or even three places like I do.

00:25:26: But all give you different energies and then all fuel the different sides of your character.

00:25:34: That could mean a lot of things.

00:25:35: it can also mean living working at another place.

00:25:40: if You've been working a lot from home And what I've learned in the last ten years of being an entrepreneur, it's really a fluid process.

00:25:53: It's a dynamic process.

00:25:54: you're not going to make one change on your environment and then that's gonna be it.

00:25:59: You're gonna make lots of changes!

00:26:02: Your'e gonna move...and then you'll realize well now energy is gone.

00:26:10: A space i used love three years ago Is NOT THE SPACE I LOVE ANYMORE.

00:26:18: And it really, it really bugs me how many times people think something's wrong with them when that happens.

00:26:25: It's like oh I'm not happy in this space anymore!

00:26:28: Something is wrong with me?

00:26:29: No!!

00:26:31: Something would be wrong with you if it weren't that way because YOU are evolving.

00:26:37: You ARE a dynamic being.

00:26:41: You are an ever-evolving dynamic human being.

00:26:47: Do you wear the same clothes as ten years ago?

00:26:49: No, no.

00:26:50: You don't.

00:26:51: do you listen to this same music as fifteen years ago know-you-don't?

00:26:56: Do you follow these same Instagram profiles at six years ago?

00:26:59: now?

00:26:59: you don't why?

00:27:01: because your taste has changed Your interests have evolved your circle of friends might've change too and that is a good thing.

00:27:13: And therefore it's normal to grow out of spaces.

00:27:17: It's normal that a place, A home surroundings That used to fuel your soul ten years ago don't fuel Your soul anymore and with this podcast episode I really want to invite you To take a closer look at your environment then ask yourself be radically honest is This an environment?

00:27:41: That supports and fuels the person I want to become.

00:27:48: Is this an environment that makes me feel alive?

00:27:53: is This, An environment that actually nourishes my soul or does it drain Me?

00:28:00: in?

00:28:00: an Environment can be so many things.

00:28:02: you can pay your be yourself physical home.

00:28:04: It Can Be The Streets And Surroundings.

00:28:09: It can even be your neighbors, the people living around you.

00:28:13: it Can Be Your Workspace Where You Go Every Day?

00:28:16: It Can Also Be The Things You Consume On A Daily Basis!

00:28:21: Its Not Only Your Physical Room.

00:28:26: So I Want You To Be Radically Honest With Yourself And Ask Yourself What Is One Change In My Environment That's Gonna Jolt my System in a Positive Way.

00:28:39: make me exit my autopilot mode.

00:28:42: that's gonna maybe also feel uncomfortable, but in a good way.

00:28:50: And it's going to help me enter into the new era and my business life.

00:28:56: I can just talk from experience here and share from experience... Me having relocated a part of my life to Amsterdam, which is the city that gives me so much energy.

00:29:07: It's crazy like I feel like my soul wants to live there and maybe it doesn't want to live their ten years from now but right?

00:29:14: Now its this City That Gives Me The Most Energy And i Feel Like Moving.

00:29:20: A Part Of My Life There Has Unlocked An Entirely New Level.

00:29:26: Its an entirely new level of Aliveness Really And it was exhausting at first and now, It's becoming this source of energy to create with.

00:29:41: To move with...and I feel like something big is coming because of it.

00:29:47: So beautiful woman This is to inspire you really have a look.

00:29:53: your environment Really make small shifts And it doesn't have to be huge, but you really have a look at... Okay.

00:30:02: So is this making me feel alive?

00:30:07: Is this where I want to be living right now?

00:30:10: Is the environment fueling my soul?

00:30:14: Is it energizing or not?

00:30:17: and then change it because nobody's coming.

00:30:24: You are in charge of changing It In your capable doing that.

00:30:31: But this is just a reminder to have a look at it again and again, because in reality identity shifts don't only happen from the inside out.

00:30:42: And I talk a lot about rebuilding your business and life From The Inside Out.

00:30:47: What i mean by that?

00:30:51: Really building from you Building from your unique skills Your strengths Your values starting with you.

00:31:02: That's what I mean by that, but that doesn't mean... ...that you're not allowed to build from the outside in and if you are not allowed use your environment.. ..to shape!

00:31:13: To proactively curate who you want to become.

00:31:23: Think about this And integrate.

00:31:26: one small thing today See you on a next one.

00:31:31: Hear ya' In The Next One.

00:31:32: Beautiful Women Talk soon & Much Love.